The Taco Zone
by The Lonesome Rose
Summary: It started with a craving and ended up with Jason questioning a reality that only he seemed to be in. He seemed to move into a land of both shadow and substance of things and ideas. He seemed to have just crossed into... the taco zone.


watch?v=NzlG28B-R8Y (_Twilight Zone _intro)

**Complete standalone. In fact, I can't even explain where this idea came from. Hope you enjoy! And please review. **

He was in the mood for tacos. And while his Outcome associate insisted the nearest taco establishment was in a seedy part of town, unlocking who-knows-what trouble down the road, Jason Bourne wouldn't hear an argument. He was the best agent out there and dammit if he didn't have a taco craving.

Shoving open the door, amid child shrieks, the calling of orders and a den of strangers, for Jason there was only one objective. Survival was secondary. Barely a glance at the menu hanging overhead was given before he gave the order, handed over the bills and carried those five perfectly-wrapped tacos to a table. He'd ordered a variety, but he picked the closest one and took a huge bite, senses on fire for everything taco.

He'd finished the two and was starting on a third before Cross finally showed. He noted a slight limp, but really, the cheese and chicken taco was more enticing. "Nu-uh… mine. Go get your own, Thirty-thousand."

Aaron pulled back his hand from the tacos. "Well looks like I found _your_ holy grail." He lowered his voice. "Five of them, two blocks from here. CIA, maybe. I didn't exactly stop to ask for their credentials while they were shooting at me."

"Collect any bullets?"

He snorted, bending down to roll up his left pant cuff to examine a long gash running up his calf. "Just a graze. No bullets this time. Sorry if I deprived you one for your collection." Grabbing some napkins from the table, he pressed them to the still oozing wound while his attention strayed to the large and boisterous gathering of six year olds present in one corner then to the congregating of adults on the other side of the room and finally to Jason who was finishing up his taco. "I swear you plan these things. Six-year olds? Really?"

Jason shrugged. "I'm ninety-five percent none of them are CIA, Treadstone, LARX, parole officers or anything else chasing after us."

"Only ninety-five percent sure?" Aaron rolled his cuff back down and gave an exasperated shake of his head before getting up for the cashier. "And that's Thirty- _seven _thousand to you," he said over his shoulder.

Jason smirked into taco number four. Now that the taco crave was sated, he was able to focus… on six-year old stares? Pausing in mid-bite, Jason noticed the loud conversations of the kids had all but ceased and they were watching him with the rapt attention they would a tiger in pinstripes sitting next to them. _What… the hell did they put in these things?_ He half-examined the steak taco he'd taken one bite from. _Give me CIA any day. _Oh yeah, the parents were eyeing him suspiciously too. _Wanted posters? News footage? Can't a guy eat a taco without being a carny exhibit?_

"I'm surprised there's still a whole taco left." Aaron set his tray on the table, unwrapping one of the two deluxe burgers to check for pickles before biting into it. "It's like one of those nature specials where there's blood and bones all over the place and…" he trailed off, noticing Jason's stare. "What?"

"That."

"Oh no you don't… get your own." He slid the second burger closer to him.

"You don't just go walk into a Taco Bell and order a cheeseburger."

Yeah, well, _I_ did. Not like you gave me a whole lotta choice."

Jason picked up the taco again, took a bite and felt the stares. His eyes wandered past Cross back to the tables of six-year olds and the half-eaten hamburgers around the table. _Wait…_ _hamburgers. _Not one of them had a taco. Jerking around to get a glimpse of another customer getting his order, Jason saw a tray of soft drinks, a salad… and burgers.

Burgers.

_Everywhere_.

He looked back to watch Aaron pick the pickles off burger two and eat them separately.

"You'd think there was a pickle shortage going around the way they ration on everything. Seriously, if you want a burger that bad, go up there and order yourself one."

"Something's going on here," Jason muttered, getting up and going for the counter.

"Can I help you?" if the cashier was surprised he'd downed five tacos and was back for more, she wasn't showing it. It was the metabolism anyway. All that stuff Treadstone did.

His eyes scanned the giant menu more thoroughly. Tacos. Salads. More tacos. Not a burger in sight. "Are you out of tacos?"

The girl stared a second. "No, we've got plenty left. We haven't sold too many today. Why?"

"Is business down?"

"Not at all. We've had plenty of customers today. Can I get you another taco?" Her voice had begun to lace with annoyance.

"Sure… cashier's choice. Just keep it under three dollars and you can keep the change." He set the bills on the counter, which earned a smile from her and another taco for him. "Just one more question… how many tacos have you sold today in total?"

"Counting this one, six."

Jason thanked her, snatched his taco and retreated back to the table. When he half-turned, he caught her watching him from the corner of his eye. He held up the taco in front of Aaron. "You see this, right?"

Aaron's response was a raised eyebrow. "Yeah I see it." He took another bite of burger, the other eyebrow going up when Jason ripped the taco in half and held it out.

"I won't kill you for touching it. I just need you to eat it."

"Why? They get your order wrong and it violates your Taco Code of Ethics or something?" He continued to give Jason a perplexed look until he caved in, took a half and bit into it. "Congratulations, it's a taco," Aaron said dryly, shoving it back towards the Treadstone agent. "Any other elements of reality you need me to verify while I'm at it?"

"There isn't a trace of burgers on the menu. How'd you order those? How did everyone else _but _me order a burger when they don't even exist here?"

"I just _did_. You know, 'hi, can I take your order?' 'sure, I'll have two deluxe burgers with everything. Extra pickles.' 'That'll be five thirty eight.' I hand over six bucks, take my change and the burgers she gives me. It's not that difficult."

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on… I'm the only person who ordered tacos today, but business hasn't been slow so they've been selling _something_. Something that doesn't exist in this place."

"You're the one who insisted on tacos so why are you complaining." Aaron finished the rest of his burger and crumpled the wrappers in one hand.

"So explain this." Jason waved a hand around the room. "They've been selling burgers all day. I ordered tacos and everyone stared at me like I was the one doing something wrong. And it all goes back to you insisting on burgers. So what is this? Some sort of twilight zone you invented in your mind to punish me?"

Aaron just scoffed, shoving back his chair to get up. "We've been in one place too long already with the CIA swarming around out there. Just walk up there, buy a burger and forget about it."

"Might as well get to the bottom of it," agreed Jason, still glaring at Cross like it was all his fault. He pulled the bills from his wallet to lay them on the counter as soon as he reached it. "Look, I know they're not on the menu, but you've been selling them to everyone else so I'll make this simple for you and order just a plain burger."

"Is this some kind of joke?" The cashier folded her arms, giving him a glare bordering on petulant. "We're a Taco Bell. We don't sell hamburgers... only tacos. If you're dying for a burger, there's a McDonalds a couple streets down."

"All I want is one burger." Jason let the intensity filter into his voice. "You sold them to everyone else. One. Plain. Burger." He slid the five towards her. "Just hand one over and you can keep the change."

"I'm sorry, but we only sell tacos here!"

"You've been selling them all day! One more won't do anything."

"Is there a problem here?" A manager emerged from the back, siding beside the cashier. He eyed Jason with suspicion.

"I'm trying to tell this man we don't sell burgers but he won't take the hint."

Sensing a confrontation coming, Aaron came up to grab Jason by the arm. "Sorry about that. He got a case of heatstroke yesterday and it's still making him delusional."

"Not now… not when I'm so close…" muttered Jason, pulling against Cross' hold on him. He strained to see the kitchen in the back. All he needed was one glimpse of proof. "They've got burgers here… I know they do. I'm not delusional!"

"You make a scene here and the cops show up. You really think we need that right now?" Aaron said in a low voice to him. "Drop it and let's go." He smiled and apologized again before dragging Jason out.

"I know what I saw." Jason glanced back just before they reached the exit and saw the cashier unwrap a burger to take a bite from it, her eyes locking on his and a smirk flirting across her lips.

"Aaron… she was lying. I knew she was."

"What…" Aaron turned back to look and Jason gave a smirk of his own, only for it to die from his face when he looked back and saw the cashier lowering a taco with a single bite taken from it.


End file.
